The Well of Strength and Determination

After my last posting, my brother sent me a message of understanding and encouragement that ended with "draw from the well of strength and determination within that has surely been our inheritance."  Good point, Curtis. Very good point.

My first thought when I think of the bestowal of this inheritance is our father. One dictionary defines strength as "moral power, firmness, or courage" and "the inherent capacity to manifest energy, to endure, and to resist." Daddy was the personification of these traits. I could write a book, I'm sure, on his myriad qualities, and in these days of digging deep with introspection and reflection, I've remembered dozens upon dozens of beautiful small details of the life with that man. I can reflect on his love, compassion, generosity, intelligence, integrity, and humor and I will likely never find enough words to convey all that he was. But on his strength and determination, the examples of which resound within us, I will try to share a glimpse.

His determination put him to work at an age when most of us would still be in school. It gave him the fortitude to woo a beautiful young lady, wed her despite her parents' opinion that he wasn't good enough, and provide a life of happiness and love for her. His strength sustained him when he watched her for three days as she lay brain dead from a car wreck that happened as she drove us to school, and he had to make the decision to let her go. His determination kept their two children with him when well-meaning family thought it would be better if we lived with a stable couple. It took both of these traits, through the many years to come, to make the thousands of efforts and decisions that are the responsibility of parents and providers.

It was not always easy. In fact, I would say that it was probably never easy to do all the things that he did. Our life was simple, and I know at many times we were barely getting by, but he kept our home in the country that he and our mother dreamt of, designed, and started building. He kept us in school, 4-H and other activities, and kept us a part of our extended families. He worked HARD at making a living to give us what we needed, and as often as possible, what we wanted. He persevered. And while doing so, he taught us responsibility, sensibility, grace, courage, humanity, and appreciation for all things beautiful in life.

Our inheritance comes from other sources, as well: Our mother, who had the strength and determination as a young wife to leave the suburbs of Houston, the closeness of her large family and network of friends, so that her children could be raised in the peaceful country. She worked and sweated beside Daddy to carve our home, quite literally, from the brush and wood that was their property. She guided us firmly, determined that we not be heathens, and shared with us love, laughter, literacy, faith, folly, and creativity. If the things I know about her could only fill a small book, it would be a small book of richness. And the things I do not know could likely fill volumes. So I digress to grandparents, who each had their own stories of trials and difficulties; who each shared their gifts with us by sharing their love; who each imparted their own seeds of strength and determination, through the children they raised, to my brother and myself. I thank them all.

And since C shares in the frustrations and stresses of our life at this time, I will share a very brief little summary of his parents and their own strength and determination that is a testament to enduring and thriving. As a very young couple they set about to change their lives and improve the future for their small children by leaving their country and their families. They left India separately to accomplish this goal, Ma going first to Denmark for a nursing job until they could afford that Papa and the little ones join her there. After a time they left together for America, where they worked, became citizens, furthered educational pursuits, and provided a very comfortable life for their children to grow. I find it very inspiring to even try to imagine the courage it took to make all the necessary steps to achieve this accomplishment. With strength and determination, as well as faith and love I'm sure, they made for themselves the life they intended.

So, although C and I have to face that our life (and our world) right now is not what we intended it to be, we have in our immediate heritage the qualities to endure and overcome. As all things do, this troubled time shall pass. And, as with most trials, we will be the stronger for it...as were those who've loved us.